I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
