wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
