Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
