You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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