Where is the hickey?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
