I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
