At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
