She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
