some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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