your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
