It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
