Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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