In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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