i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
