She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
