two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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