i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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