I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
