Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
