we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
