The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
