Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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