I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
