i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
