you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
