just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
