We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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