Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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