And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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