I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
