with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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