I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
