I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
