I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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