No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
