you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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