someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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