I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
