We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
