like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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