can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
