i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
