A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
