How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
