Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
