I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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