The maid of honor just puked.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
