Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
