16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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