when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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