Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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