yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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