My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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